i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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