I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize