he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize