this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
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when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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