Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
