whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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