k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
