Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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