i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
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I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
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but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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