I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
