that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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