Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
