I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
