so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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