Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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