At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
