he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
