I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
