Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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