Me. At least after what I've been through.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
