did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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