Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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