Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
