Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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