i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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