Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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