I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
