Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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