You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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