I cockslap morals
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize