her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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