I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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