He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
