Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize