Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
