You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
