My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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