apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
