whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
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I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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