Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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