I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
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I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize