Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
