You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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