You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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