I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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