I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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