There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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