you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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