You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
