so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
