Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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