Dual....:-)
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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