I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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