felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
