East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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