My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
