you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
