Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
