No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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