Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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