My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
