Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm like, not good at living.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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