Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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