Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
