Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
They have beer where we have blood.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize