I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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