so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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