Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
