He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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