To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
